Mistakes and Misunderstandings

I love sewing.

When I make mistakes, I can just take the stitches out. No one can ever find out that I messed it up maybe 3-4 times. I just restitch, put a nice press in the seams, and no one knows I was too dumb to figure it out the first million times. Not that it’s defective when it’s done. It’s just easy to make it perfect even with past mistakes.

With nursing on the other hand, mistakes kill people.

I remember once when I infused total parenteral nutrition through a peripheral IV. It had 15% dextrose in it, and basically ate through the kids’ vien. It hadn’t been infusing long though; I noticed early on that his hand was a bit puffy, then pharmacy called and said the kid needed a central line.

One time I infused a unit of blood too fast. Without incident though; I’d been monitoring the kid every 15 minutes. Don’t know how the hell I calculated the rate incorrectly, or never noticed as many times as I’d been in the room.

Mistakes in both those areas have helped me learn to make fewer errors.

Interpersonal relationships don’t take kindly to mistakes. And mistakes in this area really haven’t taught me anything, or rather, I haven’t learned.

Misunderstandings were the undoing of my relationship with my mom. Somehow she has memories of shouting matches between us that I don’t recall ever happening. Since I’m unable to own those actions, she can’t totally forgive me. Being unforgiven is a poopy feeling.

I haven’t spoken to my sister or brother in a week. I’m sure they feel really poopy about that, and it hasn’t made me feel great. In sha Allah I’ll three-way them when I get off work, see if they want to go see “Jobs.”

The difficulty in undoing mistakes and resolving misunderstandings makes developing interpersonal relationships a real task. I’ve gotten better professionally, since nursing requires a bit of extroversion. But on a personal level, I still need work. The least I can do is try to keep the relationships I have intact, in sha Allah.

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