The best things happen in freakin Kroger, I swear. You don’t dress like this and have a normal day, Allah forbid!

Italics are thoughts.

Creepy Dude: As salam alaikum.
Me: Who the hell? Where the hell?….Wa alikum salam. Oh, that guy.
CD: Hey you go to the temple ’round here?
Me: No, I don’t go to no “temple,” I go to the masjid.
CD: Oh yea yea, well you know dats da same thang.
Me: Seriously? You deserve a kick in the balls.

I swear the dude should’ve been able to look at my face and be like “I should shut up.” 0 effort.

CD: Yeah but uh, I’m a five percenter. You heard of dem?
Me: Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them alright. And stay far away!

Creepy dude preceeds to say some other random bull, then end with some foriegn shit I’ve never heard. I mean, I say most of my greetings and all my prayers in Arabic, so I’d have known if he said anything meaningful.

The only thing missing is him tripping and falling over something. Ah, it would’ve been EPIC.

So many Kroger entries in the queue.


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